The cost of modelling

There is an intensity to modelling work is lost on all but the models. The capacity to be a conduit for other people's visions. To force yourself to express yourself constantly and be something for someone else. To elevate and turn yourself into art. It is a beautiful feeling, but it comes at a cost.

Vogue Russia covers by Greta Tyo

We don't often talk about the price. Being a model by society's standards means to be so beautiful you are paid for your looks. At least, that's what we tend to simplify it to.

We've spoken of being at the mercy of our muses for millennia. Still, photography is to be more than just inspired and moved by them. It's as much to move them and encourage them to work and create something that neither of you can do; this phenomenon is no longer muse and artist; it has become a dance between two equals. It is another thing entirely, and that's what modelling ends up being.

We talk about IT girls and influencers and often then mockingly simplify to clothes rack or bimbo. A lot of work goes into getting a field where the odds are so adversely stacked against you that finding a way to be elevated seems impossible. Especially when most will want to tear you down. I've been thinking about this context for as long as I can remember. To fight against other people's expectations and jealousy, face your insecurities and rejection constantly. I wouldn't wish the intricacies of the work upon anyone. You ask a model what it costs; the cost isn't quantifiable because it's a field where you have to become the very thing you are ordered to create. You are no longer you; you are the emergence of someone else's vision; the cost is far too great.

This is why I revere the people I work with, respect them, and want them to succeed; it's why I care. I write this because lately, as I've looked at the development side of this industry. I remember the day my work changed for me, the first person I felt in sync with. It felt like magic, and then a few years later, I remember learning that this is something I can create, given a great deal of empathy, rapport, time, space, and patience. You can't always be on the same page, but there are some people who, every time I work with them, I find things are more elevated, and shooting with them inspires a richer texture. Who makes me want to push further and create something that feels like it exists outside of time.

The true cost is everything you were before you were a model. You cannot go back. So you have to ask yourself, do I want to create myself? And then you need to get busy creating.